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<title>It Doesn't Matter, Clearly, Only Tear me Apart by musicalgirl4474</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29701920">It Doesn't Matter, Clearly, Only Tear me Apart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalgirl4474/pseuds/musicalgirl4474'>musicalgirl4474</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Febuwhump 2021 [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angels as Siblings (Supernatural), Aunt Amara (Supernatural), FebuWhump2021, Gen, Lucifer is Heylel, POV Lucifer, Sam Winchester is God</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:40:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29701920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalgirl4474/pseuds/musicalgirl4474</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 10: I'm sorry, I didn't Know.</p><p>Lucifer and Amara have a world-shattering chat.</p><p>(“My Brother made all of this,” Amara said, turning to look at him. “My Brother made this and I was too busy being jealous to see how beautiful it was, that it showed the love He had for me.” She looked sad. Lucifer didn’t think he’d ever seen Her sad.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Febuwhump 2021 [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It Doesn't Matter, Clearly, Only Tear me Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This took days to write, which is a little depressing, because it's so darn SHORT. But. Oh well.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>First there was God and the Darkness and Death and The Empty. Then there was Michael, and soon after Lucifer. Raphael and Gabriel followed, so close on each other’s heels that it was sometimes hard to remember that Gabriel was the younger. Then came Creation; stars and planets and nebulae and black holes. The Darkness became jealous, and The Empty felt threatened. And quite suddenly God was gone, even as the archangels managed to seal away the Darkness.</p><p>The Darkness broke free from Her cage soon after the apocalypse had been thwarted by the humans. But She was no longer angry, no longer jealous and vengeful. When Lucifer was suddenly before Her, freed from the Cage by the same human that had put him back in, She simply stayed sitting atop the large rock. Lucifer stared at Her, at this last being who <em>knew</em> who he was, who he had been. </p><p>“My Brother made all of this,” Amara said, turning to look at him. “My Brother made this and I was too busy being jealous to see how beautiful it was, that it showed the love He had for me.” She looked sad. Lucifer didn’t think he’d ever seen Her sad.</p><p>“The humans have ruined it,” he offered.</p><p>“The sun would have swallowed this world eventually either way,” Amara said, “that is not what I mean, little one.” There were not many beings Lucifer would allow to speak to him like that. This was one of them.</p><p>They stayed sat in silence for a moment longer. Then: “The humans have a thing they say; that life and death have been in love for time immemorial; life sends death presents, and death keeps them forever. My Brother made this Universe, a constant flow between light and dark. He made this so that He could eventually give it to me.”</p><p><em>You put too much stock in humans</em>, Lucifer wants to say, but he holds his tongue. Amara turns to look at him, hair sweeping across her back.</p><p>“And in return I took my Brother’s memories and sent him hurtling into his own creation, not knowing who He was. I took his Grace and held it with myself as you and your brothers locked me away.”</p><p>Lucifer stills, freezes. Father had not abandoned them. Father had been <em>hurt</em>. He snarled at the Darkness, but She only smiled back at him. “He is alive, has lived many lives, all of them as humans.” She turned to look out over the lake again. “I thought, if He loved them so much, He could <em>be</em> one.” She sighed. “I ought to have known that even not knowing Himself, He would be unable to fade into obscurity. He’s ever been unable to let Himself exist quietly and happily.”</p><p>Lucifer did not know which question he most wanted to ask, but he knew which one he <em>needed</em> to ask. “Who is He?”</p><p>The Darkness smiled. “You and I are still connected, whether you wear the key or not,” She said. “You know who.”</p><p>“No, I don’t.”</p><p>The Darkness stood from Her seat and stalked towards him. “Yes you do, you simply <em>hate</em> the answer. Which brings me no little joy, I’ll admit. If destroying you would not break my brother’s momentarily human heart, I would tear you to pieces for what you did to Him.”</p><p><em>No no no nononononono</em>-</p><p>“No. Please-”</p><p>A hand against his vessel’s face, a mockery of care. “Your Father was reborn most recently with the name Samuel Winchester.” A blank buzzing as horror washed through him. “Why do you think I am so very enamoured with Dean? The human has managed to be a much better sibling than I, lately.”</p><p>“I . . . I can’t-”</p><p>“Too bad.” Lucifer stares out at the lake himself, <em>really</em> seeing it for the first time. Clear water reflecting the pale blue of the sky above, ripples of white where currents flowed. Loons and gulls floating, waiting for fish-prey.</p><p>“How do I fix-”</p><p>“Your Father is the forgiving sort,” Amara said. “He will not blame you for the way the key twisted your Grace.” A dry laugh. “I do not yet feel guilty for that. What <em>pride</em> you had, to think that you alone could contain me.”</p><p>“I <em>hurt</em> Him.”</p><p>“There is not a single one of your nest-siblings that has not in some great way hurt Samuel Winchester,” the Darkness said. “And He has already forgiven one of you.”</p><p>“Gabriel.”</p><p>“Yes, the little brother you killed,” the Darkness said, and She seemed almost gleeful. “But worry not little Archangel, your nest-siblings slip Death’s grasp easily. Raphael and Gabriel await us along with the Michael of this world.”</p><p>“Mika was in-”</p><p>“The cage.” Displeasure twists Her face. “A horrifying contraption that should never have been Created. I was able to help your Michael, patch him back together, though he still will need you and the others to lean on as he heals.”</p><p>Lucifer can feel his wings rising behind him, ready to go to his brother’s aid. Because as much as they have fought, he still can’t shake the instinct to heal all of Michael’s hurts. But he feels pulled in two directions. <em>Father. Michael. </em> Love and Love. Creator and Brother-Parent.</p><p>“You need healing yourself, little one,” the Darkness said. “Go to your sibling-nest. Heal. I will help your Father and bring Him to you.” Her eyes softened, and for a flash he remembered Her as She had been before jealousy tore Her apart. “I am so sorry for what the key did to you, Heylel. I didn’t know.” And then She was gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was really hard to write, if you could let me know what you think of it, I'd be very happy :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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